if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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