He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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