So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
