so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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