yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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