i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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