Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Thank you for not boning my boss.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
