I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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