You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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