i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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