That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
