He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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