Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
