had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
