Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
