Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize