do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
