I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
im holly from the hills drunk
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
