I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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