but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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