Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
