Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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