So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
