i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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