i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
