I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
