What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
