There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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