Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
