The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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