you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Can I color on your dick again?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
