On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
