I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
