Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
