He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
