I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
