do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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