At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Randomize
