why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
