your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize