Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
