You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
