do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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