you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
