Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
