return my video game
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
