so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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