Soap is not a condiment
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
