I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
