and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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