you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
