How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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