i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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