dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
