3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize