im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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