It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
me + whiskey = a bad person
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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