the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
