I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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