My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
