the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just want to make out with him forever
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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