did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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