Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize