I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
